A focused pursuit of God
It’s been a long time since I have blogged. I have been trekking through the wilderness of life, learning love, faith, obedience, on my way to becoming a man. I am discovering this faithful God who stays the same through all life’s seasons as they wax and wane.
Humiliated. Yes, humiliated. That is where God has brought me in His wonderful, gentle grace. You see I was so firey and filled with energy that I thought my heart was alive before the Lord. The reality was, I was filled with energy and zeal which was more of a testimony that I am an energetic person than of a true living desire to pursue the Lord of Glory. I seriously thought it was below me to become stale, backslidden, and off track. I thought it was below me to burn out. It happened. I was burnt. Toasted.
Pressures from relationships and jobs + tough times financially + failures in ministry + Lack of disciplined/focused pursuit of God = BURNOUT
So here I am not far off that base, still striving in myself to make something happen that I can’t make happen in my own strength. I am in desperate need. That will never change. I completely dependant on mercy to survive. I cannot create a life independant from it. It is not easy to throw all your eggs in the God basket and bank on Him to bring it forth. It’s painful to be that vulnerable, just waiting, yearning, broken with no hope but that he come and visit you with His love. I am longing for Him to move my heart from it’s current place of dormancy.
This just doesn’t fall on you. You don’t just wake up one day filled with desire for Jesus and tenderness and a meek heart. God is so gracious but gives us a dynamic role in bringing this forth. It’s called FREE WILL. It’s simple and it’s for anyone who wants it.
Choose God.
In your next decision.
With your time.
With your money.
With your words.
When you are alone.
With your thoughts.
With your actions.
In every season.
In every moment.
WITH————–FOCUS.
Love is focused. Love is not asleep. Love REMEMBERS. Love is not bound. Love has joy. Love is not afraid. Love is ALWAYS relevant. Love is not a popular way. Love is in great demand. Love isn’t fickle. Love is paying attention. Love is not later, love is NOW. Love is redeeming. Love is not controlling. Love has secret. Love shares openly. Love is consuming. Love is not a consumer. Love stores up treasures. Love throws away garbage. Love is wise. Love is powerful. Love is resilient.
So it is in this context I am seeking to be fully yielded to God, with all the pain and glory that comes with it. I am seeking to focus in on what is real. (?!) I desire to use this free will in a focused way to put myself before the Lord in a serious way. I desire to set my life to seek Him out for the rest of my days. There are trials to be endures, and glory to be revealed.
Lord I ask for a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of your will. Lord that you might set my feet on a rock! Lord have your delight in me! Oh, that I might be a resting place. Lord equip me by your spirit to focus deeply upon you. In Jesus name.
